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They want a face-to-face meeting to set things up so they book me into a hotel, a good hotel mind you, I don’t come cheap. In the hotel that evening I fire up my master app, the one I have the only copy of. That lets me have a look around. Who’s running my free app nearby? Any selfies? Pick a few likely prospects. The free app keeps a running check of how long it has been on screen. Sort the prospects by screen time, the more time the better. Check their locations: bar, hotel – good; office, home – not so good. A quick shower, grab my phone and off I go. Yeah, in case you’re wondering I make very sure that my free app isn’t on my own phone; my master app kills any copies that try to install themselves.I usually start with the bars, a lot of the women there are looking for a good time. It doesn’t take long to find a good prospect; I can tell by the way she looks at me. She recognises me. She’s seen my picture, subliminally, on my app. That’s the first stage. Somewhere out there are a. “I am Lord Asmodeus, formerly Prince of the Incubi, now King of Hell and Prince of Darkness, lord of the nether regions in more ways than one! I am the successor to Satan, the brand new Devil, if you will. Satan’s dead and Hell’s under new management, if you will. Yes, I fucked you both to breed you and to claim your soul, and on both accounts, I have succeeded, of course. You’ve conceived my demonic spawn now. I will be father to another Hollywood devil, and that’s just the start. I intend to cut quite the swath through Hollywood, European cinema, and Bollywood, too, given enough time.“In this life, you, Emma, will become Monica’s wife. You’ll have a lovely lesbian wedding and take vows that celebrate love, lust, friendship, etc. as well as humanity no longer bound to a now dead Jehovah and Jesus. Yes, they’re gone, too. Don’t ask where the Holy Ghost is. He vanished when his fellow members of the Trinity were destroyed. Michael the Archangel runs Heaven these days. How long that.
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“You could have one. Or maybe something just a little newer and faster. I mean, look. Two people and twenty pounds of luggage. Two hundred miles, and if you fly along the Interstate, you’ll get passed up.”“Baby doll,” he said, “sometimes the journey IS the destination.”‘Baby doll?’ He really IS happy to let THAT slip out.“Wait?!? Do you know how to fly a plane?”“I haven’t been at the controls since my first job out of college, but yes, I do. Did.”“That’s a piece of knowledge you haven’t given me.”“Subject never came up. I also am classified by the NRA as ‘expert’ class rifleman. What else? Let me think.”“Now you’re being smart...”“No, not really. I’ve lived a lot of years, done a lot of things. Some I kept up, some I didn’t.”“Okay,” I said. I pulled my iPad from my backpack and started a search.“What’re you doing, Carlie?” he asked, eyeballing me as we drove.“Google search.”“For what? Or should I even ask?”“J-3 Cubs.”“Carlie...”“Bob ... killin’ time.”“Okay.”Doesn’t take long to frame.

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